Would it Kill You?

People with an aversion to physical contact with other human beings should not - nay - cannot ride a train. In particular, they cannot ride a rush hour train. And if you do not wish to come into contact with extraneous limbs brushing, then do what you can to keep your own body within the limits of your own seat and floor space. If you would prefer our knees don't knock, do not sit with your legs a foot-and-a-half apart, and try to compact your body to the extent you can when I am attempting to pass by you to get to the seat across from you.

Today, you had that four seater to yourself when I came hobbling along with my big shoe cast. Perhaps you didn't see it. But when I asked you to excuse me so I could sit across from you, you made me crawl over your knees. You are an older gent, but not an old man, so I know you know I know you know I know you know better. The exasperated sigh of irritation was not necessary. It was, in fact, that very display of impatience on your part - more than the swelling and throbbing - that compelled me to lift my injured foot up on the seat next to you. I knew that you would be highly annoyed by the proximity of my stockinged foot. (I am reasonably certain my foot was not smelly, but on the train with its smorgasbord of aroma, I could not swear to it...)

Look pal, I looked around, and you could do a lot worse than me as a seat-mate, foot issues or otherwise. There is no way around sharing a seat during rush hour - the solo rider on the Express is an urban legend like spider eggs in Bubble Yum. It is not possible. You are only a few years away from your own age-related mobility issues, so do remember that your reap what you sow, and one day, you will be looking for someone like me to accommodate you when one or more of your body parts aches, swells and pounds.